took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize