thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
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I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
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I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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