shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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