I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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