put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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