Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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