yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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