Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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