One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize
