But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
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