i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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