i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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