guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
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Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
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Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
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