Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
He did a backflip because drugs
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
