oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
