She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize
