I hate your face
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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