new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
