And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
