Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
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No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
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No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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