I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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