They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
