I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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