Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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