Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize