His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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