oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
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