how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Randomize
