Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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