i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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