why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
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