I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
