Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father