i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?