I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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