Yo dont text me then not text me
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
