You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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