I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I love you. Go after that dick
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
