if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
