i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
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