I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
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