does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
