I'm going to jail i love you
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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