yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i barfeds in our rink
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
