Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Someone signed my nipple.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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