I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
