Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
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