is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
She tied me up with her honor cords...
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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