if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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