we have officially lost it.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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