gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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