I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
