I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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