Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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