I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
