I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
