I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
my liver is dry heaving
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
