So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
