just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
